Thanks for letting me know that when I suggest a series of related to read and only make one link, it is still difficult to find them all – apparently the blog site doesn’t run sequentially from each post. In future I will link all the posts individually, e.g., New Ways of Living Together 1-6 {September 2018}) will be linked with each number to each separate post 1 2 3 4 5 6.
One thing Covid taught many of us was how valuable our time was and how we value our interactions with people in general. While for many being at home with family was a time of reconnection on a deeper level, for others it was also a time of frustration – I’m sure most of us love our families, but I heard from many friends that being only with family for weeks on end was also a great strain on the relationships. The old maxim, you choose your friends but family are what you have from birth.
Regardless of home life, the strain of such a long lockdown, and even now in the aftermath and uncertainty of present circumstances, there are many that now watch the news media all the time or find themselves staying up late, even when tired, ‘doom scrolling’ (a new term that seems so descriptive of how many use their electronic joy) through the ever-negative news media. Bingeing joylessly through endless streamed TV shows seem to be leaving so many simply navigating through their days felling uninspired, aimless, burnt-out, unmotivated, lack of vigor, in the doldrums, or just mentally numb. A term for this is languishing. (The APA defines languishing as the absence of mental health. It’s characterized by dissatisfaction, lack of engagement, and apathy. Ultimately, languishing isn’t a health condition or clinical illness like anxiety or depression. Instead, it’s an emotional state some of us can find ourselves stuck in, that if left unchecked can lead to mental health issues.) And why is this important to sustainability? Change comes from people with passion and optimism about their own power to effect change, not those cowed in the doldrums!
I covered many ideas about this in earlier posts (see Why we stay in the rut 1, 2, 3, {May 2018}) but a fresh look with a focus on languishing would be productive. Organizational psychologist Adam Grant thinks that finding ‘Flow’ is one solution to the problem of languishing (I talk about this a bit in early posts, Flow Theory part 1, 2, 3 {August-September 2019}). Grant does some TED talks on this and has written extensively in popular science media. He thinks that we have developed a lethargy of thinking in which we have developed tunnel vision around personal goals, habits and sense of self. Languish doesn’t happen quickly but slowly such that we do not make the connection of our thinking to how we feel – Grant likens this to the frog in boiling water parable.
There is abundant research that suggests mindfulness-based approaches may be the most effective way to perk up your life and focus on thriving (see my earlier post, The Psychology of Sustainability – Part 6: Recognizing Mind-Lessness versus Mind-Fullness Choices {July 2020}). The first step in letting go of languishing is to be mindful that you are in it and putting a name to it, knowing that you can get past it. Flow is a state of mind where an individual is completely immersed or engaged in an activity of any kind, where the mind is totally focused, almost like in meditation. Its all about getting your emotional state to a spot where the brain releases the chemical dopamine that can increase during the flow state. Dopamine is unique feel-good hormone (similar to oxytocin) that plays a role in many important body functions, including movement, memory and pleasurable reward and motivation and helps people have greater enjoyment and energy.
Although the triggers for ‘flow’ are individualistic, a variety of activities that completely engage you can help produce the conditions that enhance the personal sense of well-being ignited by ‘flow.’ I can get into flow when writing a blog because I get so focused, I often forget time and what is going on around me. When I get distracted by e-mails, texts, social media or the phone ringing my focus is disturbed, which is one reason I leave my phone in another room, and don’t check anything else on the computer while I am typing up sections of the blog. I find however, that for myself, I have practiced being in flow for so many years that I can now slip into it quickly and get back into it quickly even when disturbed. It might be a reason I remain so annoyingly positive and optimistic. That and a spiritual focus probably contribute a lot as well. Not that I don’t get a tad despondent occasionally, but I find any negative lapses last only a few hours at most. I don’t languish. I recognize anything like that happening and then I learn to snap out of it with an activity, often exercise, or a walk within nature that revitalizes my psyche.
As you work to reverse your languishing, be patient. Until the new habits become part of your lifestyle you will find that initially you might feel yourself sliding. Start out with small steps and set yourself small daily goals until you realize that you feel buoyant with the energy and enthusiasm you’ve were missing. The increased sense of well-being brings increased periods of happiness and contentment and a vigor to find that life which is more meaningful. The new vigor in you learns to ignore the external human environment that works to crush your soul.
“Happiness and contentment, equability of mind and meaningfulness of life – these can be experienced only by the individual and not by a State, which, on the one hand, is nothing but a convention agreed to by independent individuals, and on the other, continually threatens to paralyse and suppress the individual” Carl G. Jung, The Undiscovered Self.
Once we break free from languishment, we can find that sense of sovereign power within us to believe that a better world can exist in which everything we dare hope for can be achieved. It’s not that a better world will happen immediately. I’m not being a Pollyanna, but the hope and potential for change becomes so deeply rooted that you can dismiss naysayers, pessimists, and doomsday prophets with aplomb, feeling confident that you can spark this positive change in others.
“The new dawn blooms as we free it. For there is always light if only we’re brave enough to see it, if only we’re brave enough to be it” Amanda Gorman. “You cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore” William Faulkner.
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