I begin today’s post with a paragraph by poet Allie Michelle, because it is so poignantly on point about our need to stop accepting victimhood as normal and to claim back our power instead of waiting for others to create changes that we want. “We yearn for connection, yet isolate ourselves. We seek love, but fear loss. We dream for someday, instead of trying for today. We want change, but don’t want to change. We over-consume, then wonder why there’s no space to create. We love the ocean, yet buy plastic. We advocate for education, then bury our students in loans. We want health, but for a price. We believe in equality, but struggle to bridge the gap of inequality. We ask for better leaders, but don’t think to lead. We wish for a better world, but not at the cost of comfort and convenience. There’s a disconnect here. And it’s not any one person’s fault. The world is made up of both beauty and brokenness. Most of the time, I believe we have our hearts in the right place. The problem is how overwhelming it all seems, but change is made up of small moments. Change happens when we have been hurt, but choose not to act from our hurt. Change happens when we see someone who seems upset, and ask how we can support them. Change happens when we don’t pretend to have all the answers, but are willing to ask the uncomfortable questions. The truth is, if we knew the whole story behind everyone’s actions, we would see why they are the way they are. And it doesn’t excuse it, but compassion is the birthplace of change” Allie Michelle.
So, what holds us back from creating the better world we want? As I have written a lot in my blog, it has to do with how we think, which is predicated on our beliefs that create our worldviews that produce our paradigms. Change the paradigm, change the worldview, change the way of looking and hence living in the world. Something you need to do consciously. To recap: A paradigm is a standard, perspective, or set of ideas about how the world works through a specific way of thinking. A worldview is a collection of attitudes, values, stories and expectations about the world around us, which inform our every thought and action. Worldviews are expressed in ethics, religion, philosophy, beliefs of every kind. A worldview is how a culture works out in individual practice for interacting with each other – the rules, laws, and social norms. For example, to live materialistically encompasses a set of beliefs, such as Standard of Living (SOL) is a prime function in life. This subordinates nature and people as tools to be used in gaining SOL – it negates connection.
Our beliefs, derived through our conditioning, create the ego’s sense of individuality, our identity, that produce the distinguishing characteristics of who we think we should be. Your sense of power also comes from that conditioning. Some common synonyms of power are “authority, command, control, dominion, jurisdiction, and sway. While all these words mean the right to govern or rule or determine, power implies possession of ability to wield force, authority, or influence” – decidedly a masculine energy trait. There is also spiritual Power, which is the kind of strength that is seen in giving, selfless, devout, trusting, and patient behavior – decidedly feminine energy. Both genders have masculine and feminine energy but we have been conditioned to act as if they constrained to gender roles. The key is a conscious balancing of the masculine and feminine energy with each of us, consciously understanding the strength of Jung’s Animus-Anima, accepting that there can be power without the need for aggression, domination, and control.
I am retired but I don’t consider myself old, yet in my lifetime, I have witnessed second hand, a never-ending number of wars and conflicts around the world. My parents both suffered directly through World War II in Europe, and I have spoken, while growing up in Britain, with many veterans caught up in those conflicts who served during the both the World Wars (WWI and II). With the exception of one man that I met who was a gung-ho mercenary that actually enjoyed war and killing, I have never met anyone (veterans of all wars and civilians) who considered war or conflict as anything but an abhorrent aspect of our global society. We are always pushed into violent conflict by our ‘leaders’ who use their ‘power’ to do something most of us would never do with our own ‘power’ if we consciously really thought about why we fight! To show the insane logic of what becomes acceptable, the U.S. is currently grieving the tragic school killing of 18 children and 2 teachers in Texas, but a similar report of an errant drone attack on a large wedding party in Afghanistan is seen as merely collateral damage. And this is not just the USA, but an attitude from people all over the planet caught up and conditioned with ‘modern living.’ Contrary to the notion that humans are a violent species the opposite is really true. The problem is that we have had empathy and compassion conditioned out of us. We belief that conflict is natural when it is anything but normal.
The conditioning from the powers that be that use fear and anxiety as a tool of control, which is further reinforced by Hollywood, etc. to manifest thinking that if society changes (or breaks down from what we had) too radically, then we will get a dystopian system, e.g., Mad Max, Water World, The Hunger Games, The Book of Eli, etc. Bad news and anxiety create stress about the future, which gets us into the reptilian brain mode of fight or flight in which critical and rational thinking and positive framing get subdued. This is the body’s way of dealing with immediate danger. In this state, trust is also subdued. Unless there is a real imminent threat such as being eaten by a tiger or facing a falling rock, fear (false evidence appearing real) is a continuously stressful and debilitating problem that keeps us in fight and flight mode. The consequence is increased anxiety and reduced overall health – our bodies cannot take this never ending stress without being negatively affected.
Conflict has always been stressful, yet it’s not who we are as a species, even if we have been at it for at least five millennia. Even Greek and Roman accounts talk about symptoms of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome) in their armies and with populations involved in wars. Nearly all of humanity desires peace and connection within community. “Safety is not the absence of threat; it is the presence of connection” Gabor Mate. We are so used to putting on a social mask based on social norms. An interesting question I heard the other day was, “How would you behave if you knew the prophet of your choice (e.g., Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha) was coming to share a meal at your home. Wouldn’t you be on your best behavior? So why are you not like that all the time? Think about that and all the reasons you are not every day.
When I have been asked how we can become sustainable, I have always answered, “By simply doing what makes us sustainable – it’s a way of living, not a technology to the achieved.” You can’t have a sustainable society and still wage war. As many holy men have said, “If you want peace, you have to be peace. Peace is a practice … not a hope” Thich Nhat Hanh. One thing you notice about enlightened ones, and people at peace with themselves, they do not think they are victims of any kind. Victims always feel threatened, and our modern culture, decades in the making, seems to thrive on a culture of victimhood. We don’t have to wait for an apocalypse to create dystopia. I believe it has been pushed on to us already by the hierarchy to keep us compliant, manipulatable, and controlled to maintain the dystopian world we currently have. We no longer live with any dignity. We fear everything. That includes fear of others trying to take away our safety and security (both domestic and foreign), fear of others’ opinions (e.g., the cancel culture, or political splits, political correctness, etc.), and of course the most recent one, fear of microscopic organisms. Whatever triggers you or makes you angry is a fear being manifested. The solution – claim back your own power and work with others in a spirit of cooperation, and moving past any need for manufactured conflict.
“Playing the victim is a toxic waste of time that not only repels other people, but also robs the victim of ever knowing true happiness” Bronnie Ware.
To Be Continued ……………
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